"A painting is always moral in so far as it is tragic
and it portrays the horror of the things it depicts."
DELASALLE BOARDING SCHOOL
- Headmaster! - Yes?
- Isn't it time I rang the bell? - It's OK.
I'll unload the car myself.
- Those vegetables are rotten. - It's not you that pays for them.
Line up - and quietly.
- Charming kids! - We can always run away.
Out!
- Having trouble with your eyes? - I hurt myself getting up.
You're up early. Last night when I was doing my round,
I heard screams coming out of your room.
The chaste woman loves to contemplate the dawn. Isn't that so?
You spent too long with the Jesuits, Mr Drain.
Not everyone can be expelled.
Jerk.
Thank you, my dear.
How lovely!
We all need a break. Our body needs to eliminate its toxins.
Tomorrow I'll be stark naked.
And how will you be spending this long weekend?
I'll be at home in Niort, Deux-Sèvres. Heard of it?
Sous-préfecture Maine, Bressuire and Partenay.
Getting some fresh air, Mme Delasalle?
It cheers my heart, Mr Drain. It still smells of the country.
Most refined - but with all the rain we get
I prefer my old umbrella.
In my country, instead of that ugly old umbrella
you'd be wearing a sombrero.
And you'd spend your break in a hammock.
A most frivolous outfit for a teacher.
Did your teacher really dress up like that, José?
Yes, he did. And he rode to school on horseback.
I don't think I'd ever get used to that!
I only said that as a joke.
- It was just a mule. - Go and play, Joselito.
- What's the matter with you? - Have a look.
- Miguel. - Of course. Who else?
- Had another fight? - He came in at three in the morning.
I really don't know how you stand it.
He hasn't always been like that.
At first he really made me happy.
That was for your money.
Why are you trying to be nasty?
Aren't things hard enough for us already?
Call me an old reactionary, but I find that quite extraordinary.
The legal wife drying the tears of the mistress? No, it's not right.
I must go. I'm on break duty today.
With your soft heart, you should let the others work.
Come on.
- I've got something to show you. - What?
Something.
- What the hell are you two doing? - Nothing.
"Nothing." Like the kids!
- Come and give me a kiss. - You must be joking.
Still angry?
How about you, Cricri? No kiss for hubby?
Let's see!
Hang on. Aren't you supposed to be on break duty today?
I told her to stay.
- Can't you see how she looks? - Exactly. She needs fresh air.
How about her shoes? Have you seen those?
I keep telling her to buy proper heavy shoes.
When you're sick there's no need to dress up.
- I'm not sick. - She's delicate. As you know.
Delicate? She was, a long time ago. When she arrived from Caracas.
Now she's just a pretty little wreck.
There's no more danger. Wrecks are indestructible.
She'll bury us all.
Isn't that right, my little wreck?
Well, see you later. Go and play.
I'm telling you - a little brown bottle. She smelled it, like that.
It wasn't perfume! They both drink. That's why they're always together.
- What do you think was in the bottle? - Whisky, idiot.
Please, I don't want to hear any more about it.
Patard, if you want to spend your holiday here,
you'll have all the time in the world to draw.
You heard Mme Delasalle.
No holiday.
Off you go.
What's got into you? I didn't want to punish him.
- So don't threaten him. - He did very well in English.
That's no reason for him to disgrace himself.
I won't have any regrets.
No, I won't. I can't. I can't even get a divorce.
You still love him don't you?
- Course not. You don't understand. - So I'm stupid?
- Divorce is a mortal sin. - Is that so?
How about the knife you carried around for a month?
- Wasn't that a mortal sin? - I was jealous. Mad.
But to go and do a thing like that... no.
Suit yourself. But think hard.
We'll never have a better opportunity. We have exactly three days.
Everyone knows I'm leaving for Niort, you come too to rest - there you go.
- You don't believe in hell, do you? - Not since I was seven.
I do.
- Fish again? - It's not again, it's the same one.
- It's from last night. - Make me two fried eggs.
Don't you start. I put in a litre of vinegar and kilo of onions.
I'm not saying it's bad, but you can certainly smell it's a fish.
It stinks.
Yes, yes, coming.
- No, thank you. - Help yourself.
- I'm not hungry. - It's up to you to set an example.
My liver won't let me eat fat.
Headmaster, may I trouble you for a glass of wine?
- You've already had two. - Just one, Headmaster.
"Bonum vinum laetificat coro mini."
- Found a bone? - No. I told you I wasn't hungry.
I asked you to eat it.
- Swallow it. - It's not my fault. It won't go down.
Swallow.
- Excellent fish. Mr Raymond? - Perfect, Headmaster.
Extremely...
Extremely nutritious.
What these gentlemen need is a little discipline.
Quiet, or stay the weekend!
Swallow.
Everyone's looking at you. Will you swallow?
- It's disgusting. - What was that?
Some things are hard to swallow - and I'm not talking about the fish.
Mr Drain, throw these louts out of here.
What's this? You'll eat your fish and shut up!
- I told you to throw them out. - Yes, Headmaster.
Get out!
Mr Raymond, go and help your colleague.
Everybody out! What is all this?
Get out. And...
And you watch it!
What kind of supper is that for growing boys?
A slice of sausage and some mash?
They should eat what's put in front of them.
- In the army... - You're not an adjutant.
- You're a soup merchant. - I won't buy 3,000 francs of coley.
- You'd rather make them ill. - When I was a kid we'd buy whiting.
Coley was too expensive.
If they need expensive fish I'll buy it. But at a price I can afford.
It's a mistake to buy on sale. The fishmonger's pocketing your money.
And it's not his money. It's my money.
I'm the one who pays for everything. The concierge, Mr Drain...
I even paid Germaine, Sabine, Thérèse.
I pay you, Nicole. I accept that, I pay up.
But when you take it out on the kids... that really revolts me.
I just can't stand it.
Calm down, my dear. You know it's not good for you.
I wish I could die and not see him any more.
Die, then, dearest - and hurry up about it.
We'll have a nice funeral and then we'll be shot of you.
The business won't suffer and I'll feel a whole lot better.
Well, children, enjoy yourselves.
I have to get up very early so I'll go and pack.
I'm leaving at seven.
Have a nice holiday, dear.
Goodbye, you.
"Have a nice holiday."
A three-day honeymoon.
I'm up here. I'm coming down.
What are you doing?
Careful. Out of the way.
Those taking the bus, raise your hands.
- Will your sister still be in the bath? - If it's before ten. I made a hole.
- Give that back! - Seeing her is won'th 20 cigarettes.
Soudieu, aren't you part of our group?
No, thanks. The four of us will share a cab.
You lot must have money to burn!
No suitcase?
The chauffeur will take it. That's what he's paid for.
Our personal chauffeurs just aren't doing their job.
Have a good holiday, Headmaster.
Thank you.
Plantiveau.
Has Madame not come down?
I was ringing the bell, then I let them through the gate.
Both of them? Mme Delasalle and MIle Horner.
I thought you knew. Of course I knew.
I just forgot.
But it's a nuisance. A great nuisance.
Especially for these gentlemen.
One of you will have to stay to watch those in detention.
It'll feel strange to you, returning to Niort.
- Why? - Your problems at the school there.
Problems? I resigned, that's all.
- Are your parents still with you? - No.
I've got a couple of teachers living on the first floor.
- There are people in the house? - I've thought about that.
We're not risking anything.
- Are you tired? Should I take over? - You don't know how to drive.
- I could never afford a car. - It keeps my mind off things.
Better carry on, then. Keep your nerves for tomorrow.
- We'll never dare. - You don't know me.
Oh, yes I do. Very well.
You might wish someone dead, but kill them?
You must have wished for my death sometimes.
Not me. He did, though.
He'd say to me, "Don't worry. With her heart condition, it won't be long."
"After she dies, we'll share the school."
- How horrible! - You don't believe me?
And you? What did you say to that?
- Do you want me to be honest? - If you're capable of it.
You know... I don't know you that well...
Forget it. I'd rather not know.
Watch the step.
MIle Horner! What a nice surprise.
Don't mind us.
What a huge trunk!
It always upsets Mr Herboux when I take more than a suitcase.
Mme Herboux, MA.
Mme Delasalle of the Delasalle Boarding School.
- How do you do. - Hello.
Don't forget my rent cheque.
Oh, don't. I'm so embarrassed. I'll try for tomorrow or the day after.
The thing is, we didn't get paid for the exams in Vausson.
We were counting on that.
But don't worry. I'll stop by tonight.
No, don't bother. I'll call in tomorrow. We're a bit tired this evening.
Yes, MIle Delasalle does look unwell.
Make yourself at home.
It feels good to be home.
Turn off the light. It's a waste to have it on.
- Already? - Let's do it now and get it over with.
Operator, I need a line to Saint-Cloud.
The number is Molitor 2745.
Thank you.
I like letting my feet breathe.
When it's cold I put on ski socks instead of slippers.
Go on.
What are you waiting for? It doesn't bite. It won't slap you.
Hello? Who is that?
Why won't you answer?
It's you.
From Niort? Congratulations.
Do you think I can afford to send you on holiday in Poitou?
How about the petrol?
What?
I said that we should separate.
Yes, I want a divorce.
You are young. In good health.
You can make a good living.
As you know, the school was part of my dowry and I'm taking it back.
We'll begin the paperwork as soon as the holidays are over.
- What? - Don't mess with me! I'm on my way.
I'll be on the train tomorrow.
Well?
He's coming tomorrow. On the evening train.
Germaine!
- You're mad. You'll catch cold. - I'm not cold. I'm suffocating.
- You're feverish. - No, I'm just hot.
I thought you'd never come back. That he'd get here before you did.
Things don't always go according to plan.
Everywhere was closed.
- Did you buy a tablecloth? - Yes.
Nylon. Waterproof.
It's a bit on the large side.
Not for him it won't be.
See that?
Guess how much. 2,500 francs.
Someone's making good money on that!
Let's open it up.
It'll look more natural.
Oh hell, let's not waste it.
Here. It'll cheer you up.
No.
You should - it's not bad at all. First time for me.
- You're meant to have it with water. - That'd spoil it.
Pass me the little bottle.
You don't think he'll notice anything?
Not a thing.
He'll sleep like a log.
And you're sure it won't leave a trace?
Positive. It's a sedative. He'll just digest it.
I say he won't come.
That's him. That's his train going by.
Put that in the other room.
Stop.
I'm begging you, stop. It's too awful.
- Got to get it good and full. - I can't do it. I just can't do it.
Not today.
We have to. You know that as well as I do.
It's now or never.
Never, then.
Let's forget it. I haven't got the strength.
As you wish. But I warn you, if you miss your chance he won't miss his.
Especially after your call.
I don't know. I just don't know any more.
Please help me.
What for? You haven't got the strength.
I should never have relied on you.
I'm involved in this too, you know. And you're dropping me in it.
Yes. You're right. I'm won'thless.
I'm a wreck. A little wreck.
He said so himself. But...
The little wreck will get her revenge. She'll do what she has to do.
Even if it's the end of her.
The only thing I regret is that he'll never know it was me who did it.
Steady. First you give up, now you're getting excited.
What we need to do is stay calm.
Very calm. Very cool.
I'll do it. I swear I will.
Good.
- Time to see those idiots upstairs. - Can't you stay with me?
If they look out the window and see him come in...
- You'll come back straight away? - As fast as I can. I promise you.
Be brave. In half an hour it'll all be over.
I'll find her a husband.
She's young. She'll be rich. She'll be happy.
I wasn't expecting you at this hour.
Mme Delasalle is resting and I'm not tired.
- May I come in? - Please do.
We were listening to the radio after dinner.
The play is over.
Zapi Max will start any minute now.
That last track was by Alfred de Musset.
God...
- Good evening, Michel. - Good evening.
This way.
- Well, are you proud of yourself? - Not so loud. The neighbours.
Don't worry. I don't want to draw attention to myself.
A man who runs after his wife is ridiculous enough already.
I left the school like a thief.
I had to hide from Plantiveau.
Hiding from my own concierge, how humiliating.
I couldn't tell him where I was going!
Right! Now you've forced me to come, what are you waiting for?
- To do what? - Get your bags.
- No. - What?
- I'm staying. - You refuse to come?
I thought I'd already made that clear.
- I'll come back after our divorce. - You want a divorce? You?
- Yes. - With your religious convictions?
I won't marry again, it's that simple.
But divorcing is like getting married. It takes two.
- That's not what my lawyer says. - You have a lawyer?
His name's Bertoux. 64 Rue Victor Hugo.
- Bertoux. - Look him up in the phone book.
I went to see him this morning and he assured me
that I could get a formal separation very quickly.
He told you that? Funny kind of lawyer.
- Naturally I had to tell him... - You had to tell him...
all our secrets, our personal life? You spilt your guts to a stranger?
Some dirty creep who loved every minute of it?
You, the former nun.
You know what I say? It's disgusting.
How about you? What have you been telling all your mistresses?
Do we have any secrets any more?
Is there one thing Nicole doesn't know?
Oh, her. Well, if you believe her... She's a compulsive liar.
- Some details can't be invented. - They certainly can!
She can invent the lot.
God knows what she told the lawyer.
- I'll go and see him. - No.
- Think you can stop me? - Oh no, later. Tomorrow.
He'll be having dinner. He won't let you in.
Says who? I've come all the way from Paris.
Don't!
I didn't see any lawyer. I was lying.
You too?
It's catching.
So, this divorce business. Was that another tall tale?
No. I really want the divorce. It's the only answer.
For you too. I swear, a divorce will be better for you too.
Come off it, Cricri. You can't be serious.
Do you know how much a divorce costs? And the scandal.
- Can you imagine that? - What scandal?
The lawyers. I'll need to get representation as well.
And once those people open their mouths they never stop.
You think anyone will entrust their kids to you after that?
- You think they'll withdraw them? - Of course. You'll go bust.
Not that I care much. Myself, I'd have sold up long ago.
With your capital and my contacts, I'd have gone into business.
The two of us could have lived...
in comfort.
But you had this thing about kids, so I gave in.
- There was security in it. - Oh, big deal!
We gave up the big car for a 2CV, I gave up my training...
and I wear all my old suits.
We are rich but we live like paupers. Do you know how I paid for my trip?
I sold my illustrated Larousse, which I use every day for work.
All that I did for you.
I don't regret any of it, mind. But when you throw me out...
It upsets me, Cricri. It really does.
Still, when all's said and done - you've made me unappy.
We fought a bit. No more than other couples.
Well, well, girls! What's all this?
Wait. Don't lie to me.
You mustn't lie to me now. You've made me very unappy.
You might not have been aware of it, but it's true.
Ask Nicole.
Don't bring that harlot into it. It's her who set you against me.
She exploits the fact you're sick. She lacks morals.
She's educated, she has taste...
- Taste? - But she's not to be trusted.
I'll give her the push. And we'll replace her with some nice old chap.
For God's sake! My Prince of Wales suit.
Idiot! Get a handkerchief or a towel. It'll stain and I'll stink of alcohol.
Go!
There, and there.
Kindness is lost on you. I'll break you, my girl.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Can't you get some hot water?
We're leaving straight away and we'll be back by tomorrow morning.
How long did it take you to get here? Ten hours? Twelve?
Answer me!
It's always the same.
Hey, Madam.
Another glass.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel dizzy.
Lost the knack?
That's more like it.
Pretty colour.
Stop staring at me like a madwoman.
Drinks are on her, aren't they?
Speaking of which, where is she? Is she scared? Is she hiding?
She's upstairs. Visiting her tenants.
So, mademoiselle has tenants? She never told me that.
I'm wiped out.
- Must be the train journey. - Lie down.
Is this your bed? Or hers?
- Ours. - No...!
Shoes. Take off my shoes.
What's wrong with me tonight?
I don't want to sleep.
We have to go.
What are you up to?
- Go to sleep. - Why are you turning out the light?
I'm so tired.
What's that?
Nothing. Go to sleep.
- How did you get in? - Through that door.
- How many did he have? - Three glasses.
Very obliging.
He's dreaming.
He's ready to go now.
Put his shoes back on.
- What the hell is she doing? - She's taking a bath.
At 10pm? Funny habits she has! For Christ's sake.
Can you tell me the precise location of the Straits of Mozambique?
Between Madagascar and Africa.
The precise location is between Madagascar and Africa.
32,000 francs.
Now, what do you want to do? Will you stop or will you go on?
- Go on, obviously. - He's going on!
I was 32,000 francs up!
- And now I can't hear a thing! - Poor love.
Harlots!
I didn't even hear the question.
Midnight baths. It's the final days of Rome!
It's a breach of the peace.
I have the legal right of complaint! And I may very well use it.
The seventeenth at 10.05.
10.06.
What are you looking for?
His return ticket.
Here it is. With the restaurant car bill.
Burn it.
Let's go.
Take the feet. It'll be lighter.
Ready?
The statue.
The statue over the fireplace.
Give it to me.
Now the tablecloth.
The tablecloth...
It's over.
Did he suffer much?
He didn't feel a thing.
Let's go right away and bring him back tonight.
What about our alibi?
When they find him we'll have to prove we were here the day he died.
That's what those fools upstairs are for.
- She still hasn't emptied the tub. - So what?
When she pulls the plug the noise will start all over again.
- It won't empty over your bed. - I can't sleep next to Niagara Falls.
- Are you going to stay up all night? - I'm going to sit right here.
I'll give her until midnight.
- There they are. - They took their time.
When I passed by the cafe at twelve they were already there.
That must have cost them!
If you were a landlord and I ran a school...
Sure. We could afford blow-outs too.
I'm going to take my nap.
That's it. The flood!
- What? - He looks so ugly.
I've had it up to here. They've got to go!
Too bad you're leaving us so soon. It was nice to have the company.
Well, you know, school starts again tomorrow.
Just as it does for you.
I only came to collect my crockery.
Well, it's a fair old load.
- Would you have a piece of string? - A piece of string?
No, no string.
Hang on. Maybe you could make do with this.
We could try.
I'll put some weight on it.
That'll never work. The trunk's just too full.
- Could you take a few things out? - Absolutely not.
Oh, yes you can. I'll get the old tin trunk.
It's very strong. It went through the 1940 retreat.
- Start emptying it. - No, no, it'll work fine.
- We're already late, aren't we? - That's what I told them.
Besides... it's done now.
- Let's go. - Careful. Clear the way.
Now, when I say. One, two...
Now it'll be easy. A little kick up the backside.
I'll start the engine.
- There! - You said it.
- Thank you for your help. - Don't mention it.
No, really.
- Take this. Something for the road. - Thank you.
And mind how you go. Holiday traffic...
They've sent out 15,000 policemen. You'll find them at every junction.
Goodbye, Mme Herboux. Thanks again.
Have a good trip.
- Well, it won't be this time. - Sooner or later...
- You're cheery. - It can only end in one way.
We're monsters. God doesn't like monsters.
If it's just him then it's a relief.
I don't buy that grain of sand falling from the hand of Providence stuff.
Don't stop, then!
About time! All the petrol stations were empty.
That doesn't surprise me. It's been a madhouse today.
Wait.
There's always some left.
- That's 963 francs. - I've only 5,000.
Come with me. I'll get you some change.
- Are you going to Tours? - No, I'm not going that way.
Couldn't you help me on the way a bit?
The bus driver wouldn't take me.
He's anti-army. Like me.
There's two already. Can't you see there's no room?
Oh come on, take me. A humble private won't take up much room.
If I'm not in the line-up they'll put me in jail.
- Take pity on a poor soldier. - Leave me alone.
- You're drunk. - Me?
Now, look. I'm being polite.
But if you're going to be like that, I'll just get in.
I won't have it. Do you hear me?
I won't have it.
- What is it? - Oh, don't worry about him.
He's drunk. I know him. He's all right.
Aren't you ashamed of yourself, Robert?
Get out or I'll throw you out myself.
What's that pig done? The floor's all wet.
- I'll clean that up for you. - No, there's no need.
We're in a rush. Thanks.
Step on it. The nylors got a hole in it.
Hey, did you hear that?
- It sounded like the boss. - Must have decided to come back.
About time.
Is this really the right time for all that racket?
If we just ring, Plantiveau won't open.
- Three short blasts is Michel's signal. - Plantiveau's a heavy sleeper.
I'll wake him up!
Come on!
Oh, it's you. I thought it was the headmaster.
You mean he's not here? Has he gone off?
What do I know? Ask him when you see him.
You look tired.
Does that surprise you?
Go ahead.
Sorry to have woken you. Good night.
Good night.
Turn those off. We don't need spotlights for our number.
Or music.
Oh, no. This isn't the time.
That's the light from the lavatories.
It's Pascual. Apparently he gets up every night.
He could look out the window.
Quick!
- Can he be seen from here? - No.
Either the water's too dirty or we're too far away.
What did I just say? You can't see a thing.
Why hang about there? You know it's not us who's supposed to find him.
- Close the window. It's freezing. - Shut up. It stinks in here!
- Good news. The head's not back. - He's skirt-chasing.
- Isn't two enough for him? - Certainly not.
- When I grow up I'll have loads. - Look at Napoleon and Louis XIV.
- All the big shots had lots of women. - Think you're Napoleon, do you?
No, I'm Falcon Eye!
Moinet, have you finished playing the fool?
I'm not - I'm playing a redskin.
Write 20 times, "My friends find my absurd comments utterly hilarious."
What's this I hear? The headmaster is missing?
That's right, my friend.
It's the third time I'm drinking decent wine.
Where's he got to?
I saw him the day before yesterday around 8am. By twelve...
- Gone. - And no sign of him since?
That doesn't sound like him at all.
Poor Mme Delasalle. She has enough troubles already.
Unless she's more bothered about it than I am, he needn't hurry back.
But believe me, he won't be long.
And we'll be back to drinking vinegar.
Did you see the way he pretended not to see the body this afternoon?
The body was right at the bottom.
- And you think he'll rise? - I'm sure of it.
- How soon? - How should I know?
- Tonight, tomorrow... - I'll never be able to wait that long.
We can't ask them to empty the pool. Surely you can see that.
Isn't it natural to empty a pool when it's dirty?
What they find in it won't be natural at all!
- What if I take responsibility for it? - You have to be a grown-up for that.
You think like a child.
Nought out of ten for you. That's all it's won'th.
I don't know how you can concentrate on this.
- I just marked up a nonexistent error. - Well, correct it, then.
I haven't got a rubber.
There.
Listen. If he doesn't come up tomorrow I'll have the pool emptied.
And I hope we won't regret it.
Stop biting your nails.
Hey! I wasn't even playing.
- Look. - It was bound to happen.
Pay no attention.
- I told you not to look. - Do something.
I can't take it any more. You promised yesterday.
Give me your keys. We'll speed things up a bit.
Very smart! Who'll go and get the pole?
Soudieu! How about some training for the hundred metres?
Maybe you should get some training for the shot putt, miss.
Lucky for you I'm a champion skin-diver.
- Stop that immediately. - Let him. He's a champion.
What's wrong? Why's he taking so long?
- Maybe he's drowning. - Can't you see the bubbles?
- Have you got them? Say something. - They were shining in all the sludge.
It's the headmaster's lighter.
- Didn't you see... ...the keys?
- It's a real swamp at the bottom. - Get dressed or you'll catch cold.
Go on. We'll find another way.
Do you think we should have the pool emptied?
You're right. Have it emptied.
Get Plantiveau round.
The bell's gone. What are you waiting for?
It's deep where you're standing.
- It's quite safe. I can swim. - That's not the point.
It's always the swimmers who drown. It's them as hangs around the edge.
I'd like you to empty the pool.
Now? I'm not dressed for it. I was going to go to the barber's.
Do it right away, Plantiveau. It's urgent. Do it for me.
The fish can wait. It'll take a good hour in any case!
She's in a mood. Be nice.
Why are you all staring at me like that? What's wrong?
Once again. The hexagors surface area in relation to the circumference?
Well? I'm waiting.
6AB times half of OH.
Thank you. Very good. Go back to your seat.
Take out your notebooks.
Just a moment. I'll be right back.
What's wrong with her?
I don't believe it. It's impossible.
- I didn't get a proper look. - Yes you did.
- He's not there any more. - No. He's not.
Come in.
- What is it? - The doctor's here.
If you ask me, it was the sight of the empty pool.
She's agoraphobic and the empty pool made her dizzy.
- That's possible. - Nature abhors a vacuum.
I know how it feels. Especially when it's the bottom of my glass!
I hope Mme Delasalle is feeling better?
Doctor Loisy is with her.
Take the study period for her class, Mr Raymond.
Mr Drain, would you watch my class for a few minutes?
Mme Delasalle may still need me.
Thank you.
See that? She's in charge now.
- Well, Doctor? - Well, what do you expect?
When they're shot, they're shot. Where's the husband?
- Oh, him. - He should get himself down here.
In the meantime... no excitement, no rows.
- Take good care of her. - You don't think a specialist...
If you like, I'll call Bridoux. He's 60, but he has the best ear in Paris.
And the best palate. You eat like a king at his place!
Better give her some digitalis.
- The doctor told me... - I don't care.
- Close the shutters and push off. - Oh, no. That would be too easy.
Much too easy!
Does it seem natural to you, a body that just walks off? It doesn't to me.
If he's not in the pool he was taken out.
I asked Plantiveau if he'd let anyone in and he said no.
- Why would he lie? - I'm not saying he is!
If no-one went out, the body has to be somewhere around here.
And I've searched everywhere.
The attic, the garden, the basement. Nothing there!
No dirt, footsteps. Nothing!
I'm losing my mind. It's completely mad.
It's been mad from the beginning. Not even, it's a kids' game.
You invented a stupid maths problem
with taps going on and swimming pools which fill up and empty out...
and ended up with a crime.
But none of it adds up in real life - taps that turn on, tubs that fill up
and swimming pools that empty out. That's what's mad.
And I was mad to listen to you.
Come in.
It's the headmaster's suit. The one he's been wearing lately.
- The Prince of Wales suit. - Who brought it back?
- The dry-cleaner. - What dry-cleaner?
I don't know. He arrived on a bicycle.
He looked at the street name and asked if he was at the right address.
- Conscientious chap he was. - Get to the point.
He said it was from Mr Delasalle.
Of course I asked him if he'd seen him, and if so where.
Then he said, "I didn't see him."
"But he said we should take it round to his address urgently."
- Should I hang it up in the closet? - Don't bother. Leave it there.
It's his.
Don't you think that's completely crazy?
Wait.
- Good morning. - Do you mind my asking
if you delivered a suit this morning to Saint-Cloud?
- What's the name? - Mme Delasalle.
Was there something wrong with it?
We just want to know who brought the suit in. A Prince of Wales.
Oh well, we see so many of those...
If I remember right, it was a tall thin man, very dark hair,
with a bamboo cigarette-holder.
Hang on. There was something else. The kid forgot to bring it round.
It was in his pocket.
Eden Hotel. Room nine.
Some life your husband leads!
If you like, I can have the boy bring the key round.
- You know the hotel? - It's more like a set of furnished flats.
Very nice. Very cosy.
Let's go.
First street on the right. Number 27.
- I'll go. - What if they ask you something?
- It doesn't look that kind of place. - Don't go. What if it's a trap?
- Someone wants to blackmail us. - At least we'll know who it is.
What are you doing here?
- I'm looking for Mr Delasalle. - He's not here.
He's never here during the day.
- What time does he get back? - Who knows?
His bed never looks slept in.
See for yourself. No belongings.
No bags. Nothing.
Funny sort of guest he is.
- Have you ever seen him? - Never. Neither has the doorman.
He must come after I leave and before the other bloke arrives.
But why are you asking me all these questions?
He's my husband. I'm Mme Delasalle.
Oh, you poor thing. No use looking for him here.
Believe me, his life is elsewhere.
It's a nightmare. What's happening to us?
I have no idea. No-one does. It makes no sense.
80,000 francs. Repairs on showers.
And it's two years old. This time, we're in big trouble.
Pay him half. That should gain us six months.
You saw him. He was good and dead.
You know better than I do.
- Why do you say that? - Because...
- you're the one who killed him. - Me?
You're the one who planned it all.
Excuse me. We planned it.
- And you made the call. - You bought the cloth to wrap him in.
The drug to knock him out. I couldn't have done that.
- You made him drink it. - Liar.
I didn't want to do it. You know that!
You didn't have to carry him into the tub.
Who turned on the tap? Who held him underwater?
And who went to get the statue from the fireplace?
That's too easy.
You'll see who the court holds responsible!
I'm not afraid of the court. We'll get what we deserve.
Suit yourself, then. Go and tell the police. Go on!
- I've had it in mind. - To put the whole thing on me?
I won't let you do that. I'd rather call the cops myself!
Call them. But I warn you...
I'll tell them everything.
I have nothing to hide.
You were jealous, you killed him... And I helped you out of pity.
You're the one who was jealous. Because it was all over between you.
It's you who killed him. As you well know.
So. What are you waiting for?
- Do you have my papers? - Yes.
Mind out - it'll smudge. The ink's still wet.
I have nothing to say to you.
- Where are you going? - To confession. What's it to you?
Do you think you'll get absolution without turning yourself in?
Then I'll turn myself in.
- And what about me? - I can't go on like this.
Look, don't worry. It's over. They've found him.
Read this.
NAKED CORPSE IN SEINE
- Why in the Seine? - Who cares? They've found him.
And it all fits. The description. The Bois de Boulogne bridge - not far.
Been dead for three days...
Our alibi's holding up.
They've taken him to the morgue.
Excuse me. I read this article and I believe it's my husband.
Identity card?
Could you describe Mr Delasalle for me?
He had dark hair, he was thin, he had dark eyes...
All that's in the paper already. It's too easy.
Give me some precise details.
- What do you want to know? - I don't know. That's for you to say.
If you say he had an appendectomy that would be a precise detail.
- He did have an appendectomy. - Dental history. How many teeth?
- All of them, I think. - Fillings?
- One or two, definitely. - One? Or two?
- Two. - Moles?
- Yes. - Where?
- On his shoulder. - You haven't mentioned his bracelet.
- But he's never had one of those. - Oh, really?
- What's on his right thigh? - Nothing.
Think. Above the knee.
There's nothing.
So it must be a mistake.
Bring up number 4702.
You were right. No bracelet and nothing above the knee.
Kindly follow me to the identification room.
- It's not him. - Are you sure?
- Yes. - I'm sorry. This happens very rarely.
- Take me to Saint-Cloud. - At this time of day? Do me a favour.
I'm not having my supper on a roundabout.
Excuse me.
Feeling a bit off-colour? It's the emotional upset.
Only hits you later, doesn't it? Come on, get in.
You should be thankful it wasn't him.
Off you go.
Feeling better?
May I introduce myself? Alfred Fichet, retired police superintendent.
But I didn't ask the police for anything.
What? Didn't you inform the chief of police?
That was a mistake. That's what they're there for.
I didn't give it any thought. But I'll do it.
No, I'll do it myself. Just for form's sake.
The regular police don't usually get much of a result.
They've got too much on their plate.
If you're willing, we'll work together to find your husband.
Forty years' professional experience. That counts for something!
- And I have the free time now. - No. No, really.
- There's no point. - What's there to lose?
If I find nothing, you pay me nothing.
And if I do find something... I leave it up to you.
I can't say fairer than that.
Let's see. How long were the two of you married?
Eight years. I can't see what that has to do with anything.
Leave that to me.
Eight years.
It's boiling, miss.
How would I know? He had his own keys. He'd go in, go out.
He was the boss, wasn't he? And it was the holidays.
Was he in low spirits at all?
Oh no, that wasn't his style. He lived life to the full.
- He could still be feeling sick. - Oh, I don't think so.
He was quite a sportsman. A one-time tennis champion.
On the Sunday, did he receive a telegram?
A phone call? People can leave suddenly after a call.
I couldn't tell you. On Sunday I took the missus to the park.
When the school's closed we make the most of it.
That could be what lies behind the accident.
What kind of driver was Mr Delasalle? Fast? Very fast?
He didn't have the car. The ladies took it to Niort.
You don't think he could have drowned?
Drown? He could swim like a fish. This man knew how to swim.
I see. Thanks very much.
It all sounds quite reassuring to me.
I have a feeling you've alarmed yourself too soon.
On Saturday your husband was still here.
It's only been five days... and already you're looking in the morgue.
The newspaper article upset me.
A dark-haired man of thirty, five foot eight...
My dear girl, there must hundreds of thousands of men like that in Paris.
That's before you even start to count the tourists!
You were imagining suicide, I assume?
Yes. Well, I don't know.
To commit suicide in the Seine you don't have to be stark naked.
I have another hypothesis, a much less tragic one.
When I say hypothesis, I mean...
A woman.
Of course. You're right.
It was silly of me to bother you.
- Take this. - No, I won't take your money.
Remember our agreement - if I find nothing, you pay me nothing.
But don't you worry. I'll find him.
It's been a long time since I was in a school.
In my time it was the local school. Charonne.
A lot less fancy than this one.
If only it was the same.
So, you've had it emptied.
- You thought of that too. - Not at all.
How do you mean?
I dropped my keys in there, so to get them back...
- When was that? - Yesterday.
Superintendent Fichet, MIle Horner.
- A colleague of the highest standing. - Pleased to meet you.
So it was just a coincidence. That explains everything.
Still, the keys in the swimming pool, the husband in the morgue...
You seem to have water on the brain around here.
Why don't I have a look through his papers?
- You'll never find him. - How do you know?
- I see he has a typewriter. - Yes, for the accounts.
You're right. Mr Delasalle is not a man of letters.
Perhaps he doesn't trust his own spelling.
May I?
I can't imagine him in despair.
Right, let's get down to business.
We have here...
Delasalle, Michel. 34 years old.
- Height... - Five foot eight.
Yes, I know. Black hair.
- Eyes? - Brown.
Nose.
Average.
Ears: Protruding.
How can one find someone just from that?
Well, we'll find him. It's as good as done!
How was he dressed on the day he disappeared?
We weren't there on that day.
Oh, of course not. How stupid of me.
Right, you know what we're going to do?
We're going to check his wardrobe. Then we can see what's missing.
One, two, three, four, five, six.
What did the seventh pair look like?
Brown suede.
- Tie? - Red. With a white stripe.
You've got sharp eyes! He's got at least 25 of these.
So, suit.
You know his ties better than his suits?
I think it's a grey Prince of Wales.
- Like this one? - Yes.
- Just a second. - What's the matter?
Mme Delasalle has a heart condition. We have to go easy on her.
For heavers sake, you should have told me. There's no great rush.
I've got plenty to keep myself busy.
Take care of yourself, my dear.
I'm going to take a trip downtown. I've still got some friends down there.
And don't worry, all right? I'll be back.
He's a detective. Plantiveau said so.
He's a private investigator. He uses a machine gun.
Heberge, if you've finished your work I'll find something else for you to do!
First of all, there's Latin.
They forgot everything in the Middle Ages, but they still knew Latin.
The Church knew it. Every last priest in the Middle Ages knew Latin.
I don't think the average priest is that intelligent.
That wasn't their job. Let me read you something.
Hold on.
Moinet, what are you doing there?
- Why aren't you studying? - It's the headmaster's punishment.
- Who? - The headmaster.
- What kind of tale is that? - It's true.
Why did the headmaster punish you?
- Because I broke a window. - Maybe he's come back.
Now, stop talking nonsense. Tell me the truth right now.
- Who punished you? - The headmaster.
- That was for lying. - I'm not.
Let me. You're scaring him.
Listen. You tell me your story like a good lad.
And if you tell me everything I'll let you off your punishment.
- How did you break the window? - With my slingshot.
- And then what happened? - The headmaster opened the door
and told me to go to bed right away without picking up the leaves.
It can't have been him. It's not possible.
You know very well he's not here.
You forget this boy is a pathological liar.
Last week he told his friends he had a fight with a lion at the fair.
- A lion! - He's a fantasist.
I've just asked the others. Nobody else has seen the headmaster.
But there is a broken window in the corridor.
He's punished himself so he can make up this story.
Clearly a case of self-induced hallucination.
The child broke a window, his unconscious mind punished him
and thought of the headmaster... the darkness did the rest.
- You think so? - Without a doubt.
The child was punishing himself, quite literally.
I think he's just having us on. Quite literally.
- Give me your slingshot. - The headmaster confiscated it.
Tell me, young man - don't you think you're pushing your luck a bit?
I feel a little tired. Excuse me. I'm going to bed.
But of course, Mme Delasalle.
Go and rest. We'll sort this business out.
Moinet, we've been patient with you long enough.
If you want to be this pig-headed, you can stand in the corner.
And you won't come out until you've told the truth!
We'll see which of us gets tired first.
I saw him. I know I did.
This sling. It can't have been Moinet who brought it here.
- Definitely not. - So who did?
I don't know. It could have been anyone.
- So it's a coincidence. - A coincidence, yes.
And Fichet. Was his being at the morgue a coincidence?
And the suit. And the hotel.
And now the children!
Is it a coincidence that it's getting closer and closer?
Please, calm down. I'm not in the best of states either.
Everything has an explanation. There's no such thing as miracles.
- Unfortunately. - Every time I close my eyes,
- I think I'm going to see him. - Shut it, will you?
- He'll be in quite a state by now. - Yes.
- If he's dead. - Listen.
I've seen some corpses in my time. Believe me, he's quite dead.
- Lie down and don't worry about it. - With all this on my mind...
If you don't sleep you won't last three days.
Doctor Loisy is very concerned.
He asked the specialist to come by tomorrow.
There you go.
What's the point?
It's all over for me now.
- Stop it! - Give me back my marbles.
- I haven't got them. - Yes, you have!
- I'll bash your head in. - Leave me alone!
Fight all you want to, but don't shout. Madame Delasalle is very sick.
Off you go.
Moinet, your punishment is rescinded. Temporarily.
- Go and get yourself photographed. - Thank you, sir.
A photo without Mr and Mme Delasalle isn't a school photo.
Well, we'll do better next year. Right, let's get going.
Should we set up by the window?
- Why not by the door? - Haven't you seen the car?
There's a doctor up there, a specialist.
- I must go down. It's part of the job. - I'll look after the doctor.
I'll call you.
You've overdone things a bit. What you need is a good long rest.
- Will I be able to get up? - We'll talk about that later.
- You'll do quite well right here. - Can I go up and down the stairs?
- Would that be too much? - Until the doctors say so,
you absolutely mustn't go anywhere.
Get ready.
Watch my hand. Don't move.
One, two...
Thank you.
Just a second. I'll do one more.
You can go.
I'd take her to the clinic, but it'd be too dear.
- In confidence, there are no heirs. - I know.
But people dying in the clinic brings the hearse to the door.
I don't like it.
Nor does the clientele.
Let's have a look.
Wait. Careful, it's wet!
- It's lovely. Nobody moved. - May I?
I came out very well. It's the first time I've been in the seat of honour.
When I show it to people, they'll think I'm head.
- What's that? - Looks like the boss.
- You're mad. - Hold on. I'll put on my glasses.
- Can I see, miss? - Hands off.
- I didn't see a thing. - You didn't miss much.
It's a kind of shot-silk effect - the reflection of a cloud
or a spot on the window that resembles our headmaster.
But maybe it really is him. He didn't want to interrupt us.
He was having fun. An innocent joke.
I don't see him playing hide-and-seek.
How about you? Did you see anything?
I was busy looking at the group making sure everyone was in.
Let's settle this. Moinet!
You're such a great observer. Did you see the headmaster?
Six hours in the corner was quite enough for me, thanks.
Case closed. There was nobody there.
Thankfully. People coming and going without my knowing...
it's an insult to my profession.
- I'm scared. - You too?
We have to go.
Get dressed.
The doctors told me not to get up.
And anyway, where would we go?
My place.
In Niort? Don't you think he'll be there too?
He'll be there more than anywhere else.
Then we'll just go anywhere!
It's not possible. There's no point.
- But I can't stay here any longer! - Go, then.
- What about you? I can't leave you. - Of course you can. You'll see.
You'll get on perfectly well without me.
For my part, I don't want to see you any more.
For what's going to happen, for what must happen...
I'd rather be on my own.
No, don't. Please.
You hate me, don't you?
Not even that.
Where's the little red suitcase I lent you?
Right at your feet. By the closet.
Have you thought this through? You really think we should separate?
Yes. It's better this way.
- Good luck, and try to forget all this. - Farewell.
"Tremble, she said"
"The cruel God of the Jews is mightier than you."
"Pity those who fall into his fearsome hands."
- What are you doing here? - I was looking at you.
I came to give my report. That's what I'm paid for.
But you were sleeping so soundly...
Leave me alone. I'm sick.
- Very sick. - Well, you'll feel better very soon.
- Everything will turn out fine. - Can't you have some pity for me
and let me die in peace? Am I not dying fast enough for you?
My dear girl, what's got into you? This is no time to die.
I've found him. He'll be here any minute.
It's not true. And you know it.
- You know he can't come back. - Why not?
Because I killed him!
- This afternoon? - Five days ago.
Five days...
We can't be talking about the same man.
- Five days ago in Niort. - You looked for him in the morgue.
- Because he'd disappeared. - From Niort?
No, from here. We took him back in the car. In a wicker trunk.
And when we got back we threw him in the pool!
Yes, yes.
But it wasn't just you in Niort.
- You were with Mme... - Horner.
Didn't she notice anything?
She was his mistress. She helped me.
Now I see!
She was his mistress and she helped you.
I'd be curious to hear that young lady.
She was scared. She's gone.
Oh, of course.
It won't work. It's Michel's.
It's been in the water for 24 hours.
Well, well.
Aren't you going to arrest me?
It's a rest you need, not an arrest. You're overwrought.
A nice little sedative, that's what you need.
Good night.
I'll turn it off, shall I?
Tomorrow you'll wake up acquitted!
Headmaster disappeared, wife failing, Nicole gone off...
- What does that tell you? - Time to sign on.
'Fraid so. Look, there's the cop.
I fished it out from there. Right under the diving board.
Isn't there a wicker trunk round here?
- Yes, sir. - Above the garage.
Above the garage?
Right, let's go.
This is beginning to stink.
It makes you wonder whether Delasalle had a little accident.
- I know nothing. You're my witness. - I know nothing about it either.
He'll have to do without us.
- I don't know why, but... - You think we've messed up.
Me too.
- Good night, sir. - Good night.
Who's there?
We did it this time.
She was tough.
And she said she had a heart condition!
My poor darling, you're all wet. Hurry up and get changed.
When I was in the bathroom, it took me over an hour
to get out of the tub without making any noise.
That trip in the trunk. How you must have suffered!
What about the dip in the pool in the middle of the night?
- She really made us work. - I even got scared myself.
But it was worth it, wasn't it? Now we're rich.
What'll we get from selling the school?
Between 15 and 20 years in jail.
It'll depend on the lawyer.
Just a moment.
You again! Aren't you ashamed?
On the day we're closing the school!
- Who gave you this slingshot? - Mme Delasalle.
- Who? - Madame Delasalle.
She opened her door and gave me back my slingshot.
She said, "Here. Have fun with it."
You're incorrigible.
Don't you know that poor Mme Delasalle is dead?
- That she was taken away today? - She's not dead. She's come back.
Go and stand in the corner!
I saw her. I know I did.
Don't be devils!
Don't spoil your friends' interest in seeing the film.
Don't tell them what you've seen.
Thank you - for their sake.